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Buck up, you're 30!

17/9/2016

 
Lately, I wonder if I'm losing my voice.

When I was a child, I was a fervent writer. I wrote stories as a hobby, and loved the excitement of starting a new tale. In high school, I worked up the nerve to submit a few stories to local writing competitions, and in a few cases won prizes.

My career goal had always been science-based, with no intention of publishing any of my writing. I wrote stories mostly for myself, for the sake of enjoyment, and left it at that. At University, in addition to biology, physics, and biochemistry classes, I studied film theory, and loved the essay-writing component. I briefly flirted with the idea of becoming a film scholar, quickly realized that I would prefer more stable employment, and returned my focus to the sciences. I graduated, started vet school, and essays and stories disappeared quietly, now unnecessary in the world of scientific analysis.

My only writing, save for the occasional report at Uni, was in the form of blogging. Knitting really fired me up, so I had a lot to say. I also carried with me a sense that, even when shouting into the vast nothingness of the internet, someone would care what I have to say. And a few did, and I was pleased and grateful. I am just another blog, but I liked writing, and I was too excited about connecting with other knitters to feel much shame about my writing abilities.

Somewhere, along the way, I began to turn my voice off. I would start to write, make it halfway along, then decide that no one cared what I had to say, anyway, and close the window. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lots of finished ideas turned into unfinished essays, stored on Weebly's server but never published. My brain is already designed to overanalyze, which drove me through vet school, but in the "real world" it drives me insane with second-guessing. In addition to my personal self-doubt and self-criticism, the internet has become increasingly nastier within the last few years, and I do fear some sad douchebag deciding to invest his free time in harassing me. Luckily the knitting community is generally filled with kind people, and most t-r-o-l-l-s are too busy harassing minorities to really focus on some nobody's knitting blog, but ... the fear exists. Putting your voice on the internet feels riskier than ever.

I have been designing my own knitting patterns recently. Much like my childhood stories, these are purely for my pleasure, but a big part of me loves the idea of publishing them as well. However, the same insecurity that has caused me to lose my writing voice also challenges my desire to share these patterns with the world. I am not resilient against criticism - in fact, I am terrified of it, even in the mostly peaceful and kind world of knitters. However, having recently entered my 30s, it feels like time to buck up, most on from the scars of teenagedom, and put my abilities on display. I'm starting with baby steps, in the form of an essay. Maybe some more blogging, quietly spoken into the void, will follow. Mostly I just want to open the door - so here it goes.

You win some, you spill some

6/9/2015

 
PictureCake-splosion!
Inspired by a new season of The Great British Bake Off, I decided to bake a chocolate cake this evening, with the intent to ice it tomorrow morning, and enjoy it after our Labor Day lunch celebration. I generally consider myself to be a competent baker, with a moderate - although certainly not thorough - understanding of technique and the theory behind it.

Thus, I was quite disappointed that my cakes turned into total disasters this evening. The creation of the batter went smoothly enough, but things went awry once the cakes made it into the oven. To start, my standard 9" cake rounds were apparently too shallow for the baker at Williams and Sonoma who wrote my recipe. The batter bubbled up and over the edges with as much gusto as a volcanic hot spring bursting unceremoniously through a rocky hillside. This batter proceeded to spill over the bottom of my mother's oven, resulting in a nice smokey glow when I peeked through the oven window. On opening the over door, said smoke rapidly filled the kitchen, and it was apparent that the cake was still very, very unbaked.

After 20 minutes of extra baking time, I ended up with two rather dumpy looking cakes, and a kitchen embellished with smoke. I'm not completely sure what went wrong. Initially I was concerned that I had overbeaten the egg whites (and I probably did) but that would have prevented the cake from rising, or limited its rise. Thus, my baking autopsy suggests that the recipe author was smoking something when writing it.

Picture
Bubbling over the sides meant that the batter adhered to the rim of the cake pan. When attempting to turn the cake out of the pain, the area that was stuck to the pan cracked :(
I think the the cake will still taste nice, in the end. I learned a lot of lessons from this recipe: don't overbeat the eggs, place a baking sheet under your cake pans in case of explosion, and do not apply to go on Bake Off.

In other news, I have been on the road and living out of a suitcase for the past few weeks, so I am trying to keep zen by mindfully appreciating the craft things around me. I am inspired by my collection of buttons, lying like little soldiers at the wait, ready to be called to duty.

Picture
And amused by knitting books with humor.
Picture
From Knitting in Plain English by Maggie Righetti
I am enjoying pretty cards from family and friends in celebration of my first year wedding anniversary.
Picture
Pardon the cliche, but  an entire year has passed? Where has the time gone? This anniversary completely snuck up on me (which is why I was getting the other half of the anniversary equation his card on the very morning.) To celebrate the  occasion, we drove to a pretty town by the sea, which included a cozy little local yarn shop. I came home with sand in the cracks of the car, three skeins of Rowan Cashsoft, and a mental plan for a hat.

However, the luxury hat will have to wait. For now, I shall continue to slog away at the blanket, and maybe squeeze in a jumper for a baby only two months away from joining us.

Where to start?

26/8/2013

 
This is the blog of Imogene, a twenty-something in a big city, who likes those so-called "traditional" hobbies of knitting, baking, cookery, gardening, and the like. My biggest goal is to not be the type of blog that is just soft-focus photos* of what I've made. I'm proud of the things I've created and I want to show them off, but I also want to connect with people with similar interests, and share knowledge, ideas, and anecdotes.

I hope you enjoy whatever this blog becomes. Please leave a comment, I'd love to chat about what you've well-crafted.

* Okay, I admit, there will definitely be some soft-focus photos. What's more lovely than sunshine on some nice, fuzzy wool?

    Mo Made This!

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